


sight six

by kiholove



Series: seven sights [6]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-04
Updated: 2017-09-04
Packaged: 2018-12-24 00:28:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12001131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiholove/pseuds/kiholove
Summary: Kihyun sees it in Hoseok's eyes.





	sight six

Though it's usually not such a terrible thing, sometimes, Kihyun really, really, _really_ hates his reputation as the group's buzzkill. It's not only entirely false, but also entirely unfair; why does he always have to be the stern stick-in-the-mud out to ruin everyone's fun? 

It's not like he had _chosen_ to always have to be the responsible one, it had just kind of been forced upon him because of the circumstances, the group's dynamic, and the company encouraging it (pushing it, really) as part of his idol persona. He's well aware that part of his job as an entertainer, not as Yoo Kihyun the person but as Yoo Kihyun the popular idol, is to play his role as the strict but caring "mom" of the group, and to be honest, he generally doesn't mind it too much. It's somewhat true, after all; he does care a lot about his members and wants what's best for them, even if it means he has to be the one to tell them what they don't want to hear. 

What's so frustrating, however, is that nowadays, it seems to be all that he's boiled down to and exaggerated far beyond reality. He's constantly treated like he's not a complex, multifaceted person with a full range of thoughts and emotions, but, instead, like he's just the "mom," the "party-pooper," the one who's always nagging and who lives to rain on everyone's parade. Kihyun is really so much more than the stupid label that's been forced upon him, and though he accepts the responsibility (and all of the fallout that comes with it) out of love for the group and for the members, sometimes he wishes he could throw that whole image away and start fresh. 

He especially hates that the reputation he's developed has started to trickle down to his own bandmates, who really should know better after having known him so intimately and for so long that there's so much more to him than just acting as the group's maid and mother. But lately, he seems to always be the butt of everyone's jokes, always treated as the mean one who doesn't know how to have fun, the one who wakes everyone up too early in the morning and makes everyone go to sleep too early at night and who nags at everyone to clean up and take care of themselves like adults. How quickly they seem to have forgotten that he was once one of the wildest ones in the group, and that that fun, cheeky, mischievous Kihyun of their predebut days hasn't gone anywhere. Kihyun still loves messing around, pulling pranks, and having a good time just as much as anyone else does; all that's changed is that he's matured, has learned to put the group's best interest ahead of his own when responsibility is called for. 

Because as annoying as it is, as frustrating and alienating as it is to always have to be the bad guy, somebody has to do it, and Kihyun's really the only one in their group who can. Hyunwoo is too docile, too easygoing to really lay down the law the way it needs to be laid down, while Hoseok is much too sensitive, could never bring himself to fight with the others even when a fight is what's most needed. And the other four, well, they're the ones usually causing the problems, throwing any semblance of responsibility out the window for the sake of having a good time. 

Kihyun loves his bandmates, all of them, with all his heart, but it's always difficult to have to fight them for their own good, and everything he does, he does because he cares. They aren't trainees anymore; they have real careers now, a real image to maintain, their entire futures always at stake and directly in the spotlight. Someone has to be the one to look out for everyone, someone has to be the one to make the unpopular decisions, and if Kihyun didn't do it, nobody would, and the entire group would suffer. And Kihyun is nothing if not caring, and he will always do what's best, even if it means he has to go against his own natural desire to have fun and even if it means everyone gets angry with him, even if it means he'll be stuck with a label and a reputation that he never asked for nor wanted. That being said, Kihyun sometimes wishes that things hadn't turned out like this, that someone else could've assumed the mantle and taken on this role, and that he could've been free to live carelessly like the others can. 

Nonetheless, Kihyun's about to throw away all of his convictions and is about to live up to his reputation, because he's about two seconds away from losing his cool and about two seconds away from breaking up the spectacular mess that's happening right now in his and Minhyuk's hotel room. In fact, he's about _this_ close to yelling at everyone to go back to their own rooms and go to sleep already, and is prepared to throw a few things and let out a few choice curse words in the process. 

Again, he doesn't want to spoil everyone's fun, and he kind of wishes he could participate, but he's got a pounding headache, it's way past midnight, it's sweltering hot outside, and he's tired and sore and cranky and what he wants more than anything right now is some peace and quiet. But, as he's learned the hard way from their many trips abroad since debut, when Minhyuk is your roommate, that's pretty much a total crapshoot. Like, don't even bother entertaining the notion, don't even try to fantasize about a quiet night in. And right now, as to be expected, there are way too many people crammed into their little hotel room and they're all being way too loud. 

They're overseas for a schedule and at their hotel for the night, all set to return to Korea early the next morning. Their manager had warned them of their early flight and suggested that they go to sleep at a reasonable hour, but, of course, with their manager staying on another floor and no actual supervision, nobody had listened, and everyone's going crazy in Kihyun and Minhyuk's room. Kihyun's trying his best to ignore the commotion around him as he sits on the large hotel bed in a loose t-shirt and loose sweats, trying his best to relax, watching some videos on his phone to take his mind off of the chaos. But it's really, truly a lost cause, what with Minhyuk and the three maknaes all huddled at the large desk in the corner of the room, all of them fighting over the group's iPad, playing some stupid game very loudly and hitting each other and yelling over each other like they're being murdered, no sign of stopping anytime soon. 

Kihyun briefly wonders why they couldn't have done this in a different room, but he suspects that for them, part of the fun is tormenting Kihyun and testing his patience. 

It's not like Kihyun has much of a choice though. Hoseok and Hyunwoo had said something about working out at the hotel's fitness center, so they're not even here to assert their hyung-ly authority on behalf of Kihyun like they usually would. Kihyun almost wishes he had thought to join them, because at least it would be quiet down there, but the last thing he wants to do after a long day of schedules is to work out. Even though he's been trying to get in better shape, he'll never be a gym rat like those two are. In fact, he kind of despises working out, like any rational human being, and does it more out of a sense of obligation than anything else. He would never view working out as a relaxation method like they do. 

Kihyun knows that he could also just go to one of the other rooms, like the room that Changkyun's sharing with their manager, who's certainly asleep by now, or Jooheon and Hyungwon's abandoned room. But truthfully, he's just as stubborn as he is caring; after all, this is _his_ room too, not just Minhyuk's, and he's not going to be driven away from it. And he's already decided that, at least for tonight, he won't feed into his reputation, won't give in, because if he gives in now, he'll never be able to live it down, and any chance of escaping from the jokes and the comments and the false accusations will be gone forever. No, he'll endure this, for the sake of showing them all that he's not against fun, not in the slightest. If they all want to be exhausted tomorrow, so be it. He's not going to be policing anybody tonight, and he won't say "I told you so," when the shit hits the fan tomorrow morning. He'll let them see just how much of a disaster they are without him, and, anyway, he knows that they'll are tire out and leave eventually...right? 

Instead of thinking too hard about the current situation, Kihyun decides instead to try his best to tune everyone out and get some work done. Specifically, he's chosen to monitor himself by watching a bunch of their old interviews and variety shows on his phone. If he can't go to sleep, then he'll at least do something productive while he waits for the party to peter out on its own. 

Kihyun rolls his eyes to himself, lets out a great, burdened, exaggerated sigh, and focuses on his phone, an annoyed pout on his face that nobody else seems to notice. He curls up tighter into himself, trying to be as small as possible (really, just doing everything he can to contain his overwhelming desire to shut down the chaos). 

He watches himself carefully, paying close attention to his expressions, his tone, his pronunciation and the way that he phrases things, trying to see where he can improve, examining how the other members do things on camera, observing everything with a constructive and critical eye. He thinks he's decent enough at interviews and variety, competent, but he wants to be much more than competent, he wants to be wonderful, wants to be the best that he can possibly be. He's amazing on stage, when he's lost in a performance, but for some reason, as soon as that music stops, he becomes shy, sometimes even a little bit awkward. 

He wishes that he could have the same approach to the camera as someone like Minhyuk or Jooheon, able to fire off jokes and funny comments quickly and with ease. Kihyun's got his own sharp wit, arguably the sharpest in the group, but what he lacks is the confidence when there's a camera right in front of him. Kihyun doesn't think he's terrible, but he could definitely stand to improve, especially if he wants to fix his image as the serious one of the group. He thinks he's at his best and most authentic when he's making his own sarcastic, witty comments, when he's being bright and silly, and so, he's been working on letting his natural playfulness shine through while he's being recorded, trying to learn to relax when there's a camera in his face. 

As he continues to watch more videos, his eyes eventually wander to watch Hoseok, and it's not really a surprise that they do that. Hoseok is like Kihyun's safe haven, the one he can always turn to when he feels trapped and confused, a shining beacon of light when Kihyun feels consumed by his own troubles and anxiety. And in a moment of vulnerability, like right now when he's so hyperfocused on his own flaws and shortcomings, Hoseok is like his lifeline, helping to keep him steady and grounded when he's so close to being swept up in his own inner turmoil. 

Not only that, but Hoseok is really the most beautiful thing in the entire world, probably the thing that Kihyun is always most interested in no matter the circumstances, and it's hard to pay attention to anything else, even himself, when Hoseok is right there, in all of his beauty and glory and effortless elegance. 

Kihyun knows that Hoseok has never been very comfortable with talking on camera either and, like Kihyun, is much more confident when performing than when answering questions or providing variety entertainment. Despite how cheerful and friendly he is in their everyday life, on camera, he's usually one of the quieter ones. 

That is, unless he has the opportunity to talk about Kihyun. 

Kihyun often flusters at how Hoseok is always so quick to praise him publicly whenever the opportunity arises, how all of Hoseok's nerves and camera shyness will disappear the moment he gets the chance to talk about Kihyun. How he's always ready to gush about Kihyun no matter the time or place, praising Kihyun's voice, his acting, his cuteness, his talent, the list going on and on and never failing to make Kihyun feel like the most special person in the world. 

Kihyun has the same feelings towards Hoseok, of course, but he's never been as comfortable with expressing his feelings aloud, particularly in front of others and definitely not on camera. It's just not who he is, and Hoseok knows this. For Hoseok, it makes Kihyun's private declarations of love, the ones when it's just the two of them curled up underneath their blankets, all the more meaningful, because Hoseok is the only one who gets to hear them. Hoseok, on the other hand, is the type who would tell the whole world how much he loves Kihyun if he could. They're different in that way, but they understand that it's just how they each express their love for each other, and they're both comfortable with that balance. 

And truthfully, Hoseok doesn't even need to verbally express his love for Kihyun; Kihyun can always see it right there and sparkling in his eyes. Even now, in this innocuous interview that Kihyun's watching where the seven of them are awkwardly playing some weird Q&A game, Hoseok is gazing at Kihyun while he's speaking. Kihyun remembers being stuck on this question, struggling awkwardly for a decent answer, but Hoseok doesn't seem to think that Kihyun is awkward at all. Instead, Hoseok's looking at Kihyun with immense fondness, like Kihyun is his sun and moon, or, as Minhyuk likes to tease them about it, he's giving Kihyun the infamous "heart eyes," an over-the-top lovey-dovey expression reserved just for him. 

Kihyun usually doesn't notice while it's actually happening because he's too busy trying not to panic when he's the one talking during interviews, but he can't say he doesn't enjoy when he goes back to watch later and sees Hoseok staring at him like this. It makes him feel all warm and soft inside, like he's always got Hoseok watching out for him and protecting him in the background. It makes him feel special and loved, how Hoseok is always there and practically transparent in his feelings whenever Kihyun sings or talks or even just sits there listening to everyone else. 

The two of them had made an agreement long ago that they would try to keep their relationship on camera and on record as professional as possible, so as not to give themselves away and jeopardize the group. But the truth is, they _are_ together, and they love each other, immensely. And so sometimes they do slip up, and something comes out, or a meaningful look is shared, or there are touches or moments on camera that are much too intimate for best friends to be sharing with each other. As careful as they try to be, mistakes are kind of unavoidable when you're all tangled up in a secret, forbidden relationship with your bandmate. 

Hoseok tends to slip up more often than Kihyun does, though at this point, Kihyun doubts it's really "slipping up" anymore, because as time has gone on, Hoseok has seemed to care less and less about being open and obvious with his fondness for Kihyun. Lately, his declarations and his loving gazes (which say more than any words ever could) seem to be more deliberate, as if he's announcing to the world that he loves Kihyun and doesn't care who knows it. Kihyun thinks that anyone looking at Hoseok would be able to see the overwhelming love in his eyes. 

Kihyun doesn't fault Hoseok for this at all, despite the fact that it's risky. No, in fact, he's deeply touched by it, he _loves_ it. Sure, it goes against Kihyun's sense of responsibility, but again, he's so much more than just the responsible one in the group. He's also a romantic, also in love, and though it might not be the wisest thing, and though he should probably be scolding Hoseok for it, he can't help but secretly adore how Hoseok's love for him is so strong, so intense, that it overflows from inside of him and comes out to the world in the form of loving words and fond gazes. What can he say, he's truly a softy for Hoseok, and he's fine with letting Hoseok get away with things that he'd scold any of the others for. That's what happens when you love someone; you face your fears, you act in ways nobody would ever expect you to, and you surprise even yourself. 

Kihyun watches interview after interview, show after show and Hoseok is always there in the background, always watching him and always encouraging him, loving him, and Kihyun feels his heart growing warmer and warmer, all of his previous irritation and anxiety slowly melting away. Looking at Hoseok right now, and the way he looks at Kihyun when Kihyun's not looking, Kihyun feels himself not so afraid of the consequences, not so worried, not really thinking about anything other than how lucky he is to have Hoseok, how much he loves Hoseok and how being with Hoseok never fails to bring him peace, happiness, and confidence. Hoseok makes him fearless, makes him bright and free, and even when he's in the spotlight, nervous and uncomfortable and out of his element, it helps to know that Hoseok is always there cheering him on. 

As he sits there, curled up on the hotel bed surrounded by his annoying bandmates in a room that's too hot and too crowded, Kihyun's filled with the sudden urge to be just like Hoseok, to declare to the world with his eyes and with his words that he loves Hoseok, that Hoseok is his, and that he's Hoseok's. Kihyun lets himself get lost in his sappy thoughts, a little embarrassed but not really caring all that much because well, he's got the most wonderful boyfriend in the entire world, and he's got every reason to be sappy. 

Eventually, maybe a half-an-hour later or so, there's a knock at the hotel room door, followed by the telltale beep and click of a keycard swiping in. It's Hyunwoo and Hoseok, who've just returned from working out to join the rest of the group in Kihyun and Minhyuk's room. They both appear to be freshly showered and they're both looking spectacular but, of course, Kihyun only has eyes for Hoseok. 

Hoseok looks stunning, his pale skin still slightly flushed from his hot shower, smooth and glowing as always, his eyes so bright and so pretty, his hair looking so silky and shiny. He's wearing just shorts and a sleeveless undershirt, the muscles in his chest and arms and shoulders and thighs all on full display like breathtaking works of art. Kihyun thinks Hoseok looks the most gorgeous like this, at his most real and genuine, his idol persona stripped down and given way to his soft, bare face and his sleepy smile. Kihyun feels a little dizzy and again counts himself lucky, feels so incredibly blessed to have Hoseok as his own, someone so beautiful inside and out. 

Hoseok's gaze falls onto Kihyun, naturally. They lock eyes, and there's that look again. That same look that Hoseok always has when he looks at Kihyun, whether Kihyun's aware of it or not, those same soft, kind eyes overflowing with emotions, looking at Kihyun like he's the entire world to Hoseok (and he is, and vice versa). That stare that stops time for Kihyun, makes him forget everything bad in the world until there's only Hoseok, Hoseok and his gentle, lovely eyes. 

Then, Hoseok smiles, and Kihyun is near filled to bursting with so much happiness, he feels like he could ascend, like he's suddenly so powerful and free, like he can do anything as long as he has Hoseok. 

At that moment, Kihyun decides that he is _so_ done with being the responsible one, at least for tonight. He drops his phone onto the pillow next to him and gets up from the bed, strides right up to Hoseok without missing a beat. 

And then, before he has the time to talk himself out of it, he grabs the front of Hoseok's shirt and right there, without a drop of hesitation, right in front of everyone else, he pulls him down into a fierce and passionate kiss. 

As it always does when they kiss, the world stops spinning for a moment, time goes still and quiet, and Hoseok's lips are warm, smooth, and so, so perfect. 

After a few seconds, Kihyun pulls back with a soft, wet noise and looks right into Hoseok's eyes. Kihyun barely registers that everything has gone silent around them, and Hoseok looks surprised, confused, but mostly, he looks blissed out, blissed out and delirious with delight. His pale cheeks are tinted soft red and Kihyun knows he's a mirror to Hoseok right now, with the same blush, the same look in his eyes, the same uninhibited excitement that always comes from kissing each other. 

Hoseok has never really cared about the rest of the group seeing them or knowing about them, but he knows that Kihyun has always emphasized caution. Hoseok takes a breath and looks at Kihyun with intensity, communicating only with his eyes. 

_Are you sure_? Hoseok asks without saying a word. 

Kihyun is not sure about many things, but he's sure that, at least for tonight, the Kihyun that everyone thinks they know is dead, and the real Kihyun, the wild Kihyun who kisses his bandmate right in front of everyone without giving a single fuck, the Kihyun who's been buried deep down inside of him thanks to thoughts of image and career and consequences, is alive and thriving, and doesn't care about anything except Hoseok, because he loves Hoseok with his entire being and the whole world should know it. 

Kihyun's gaze shamelessly drops down to Hoseok's lips and Kihyun grins, mischief and anticipation glittering in his eyes; they too, have something to say. 

_Absolutely_. 

Of course, it's Minhyuk who breaks the silence with a loud, nonsensical screech. He bolts out of his chair and starts talking a mile a minute at the two of them, jumping up and down and gesticulating enthusiastically. It's all just buzz and static in the background as Kihyun and Hoseok are focused on nothing but each other. And from there, chaos breaks out as everyone's suddenly standing up and talking all over each other all at the same time, bombarding Kihyun and Hoseok with questions and comments and incoherent babbling. 

Kihyun ignores them all, rolls his eyes, and reaches for Hoseok's face with both hands, cupping his cheeks, and pulls him back down to kiss him again. Hoseok laughs against Kihyun's mouth before responding in full, parting his lips against Kihyun's and bringing his hands down to Kihyun's waist. 

As they keep kissing, Kihyun still hears the commotion going on around them. There's a lot of yelling, things might have been knocked over, everyone's scrambling and bustling and confused, yelling over each other, but Kihyun could not care less about any of that. Kihyun doesn't care about anyone or anything except Hoseok kissing him right now. 

"Oh God, Oh God, it's happening! It's happening, it's happening, it's happening!" 

_That's Minhyuk_ , Kihyun thinks at the back of his mind as Hoseok pushes his tongue into Kihyun's mouth and pulls him closer, moving to wrap his arms around Kihyun's back to press the two of them together as close as humanly possible. 

"Oh God, this is the best day of my life! Someone get the camera! Get something! I don't know! Oh God! I can't believe this is happening! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!" 

It sounds like Minhyuk is being restrained by someone, probably Jooheon, who's making his own stammering noises of disbelief, though Kihyun's hardly paying attention as Hoseok groans low in his throat and starts to grind against Kihyun's body. 

"Holy shit...I...shit...." and that has to be Hyungwon, or maybe it's Changkyun? Kihyun's not really sure, but it's one of the quieter members. Admittedly, it's difficult to decipher as Hoseok starts to run his palms up and down Kihyun's back, turns them both around and starts to lead Kihyun somewhere, walking backwards and pulling Kihyun along with him as they continue their heated makeout session. 

Hyunwoo seems to be completely silent, but Kihyun knows that it's only because his brain is currently short-circuiting as the backs of Hoseok's legs hit the edge of one of the beds and Hoseok falls backwards onto the blankets, pulling Kihyun down on top of him as the two of them keep kissing with abandon and start to rub up against each other shamelessly. Minhyuk is openly screaming now and the other members are trying without much success to calm him down, all of them yelling in excitement. 

"This is the best day of my life, this is the best day of my life, holy shit, holy shit, fuck!" 

Minhyuk's grating voice is now just a faint, barely audible noise in the distance as Hoseok starts grabbing at Kihyun's ass and pulling him down to press their crotches together, any fuck they had left to give completely gone forever. 

Everyone is still in chaos, but just as Kihyun starts to pull Hoseok's shirt up over his head, it seems that Hyunwoo finally snaps out of his shocked stupor and slips right into leader mode, becoming the one to take responsibility for the night as his deep voice exclaims, "Okay, everyone out! Everyone out right now! Right now!" 

"Wait a second!" Minhyuk yells as they all pile out of the room and out into the hallway, the commotion now just a distant fury in the background that Kihyun barely notices as Hoseok's big hands squeeze at his ass cheeks. Kihyun grinds his body downward to rub against Hoseok's crotch as Minhyuk keeps yelling, "That's my bed! That's supposed to be my bed! They're really gonna do it on my bed! I take back what I said before, this is total bullshit what the fuck–" 

Hyunwoo slams the door closed and now, Kihyun just can't stop smiling, even as he hears the faint noises of complaint and uproar going on in the hallway, even as he loses himself to passion and desire and the thrumming warmth of Hoseok's body. 

Tonight is Kihyun's night, his turn to have fun, his and Hoseok's.

**Author's Note:**

> come find me on twitter @justiceforkiho


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